Miss Bingley and Darcy- Dating Advice

                Even though Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice was written over 200 years ago, the characters and relationships still demonstrate many common mistakes and flaws made by and present in today’s singles. The relationship between Miss Bingley and Darcy is a perfect example of a failed relationship due to “being clingy” and “trying too hard.” Many singles nowadays push as hard as they can to find a partner, which ultimately backfires in their face. Taking the relationship, and lack of one, between Miss Bingley and Darcy into consideration, there are a few things that singles today can learn.

                One of the biggest issues in Miss Bingley and Darcy’s relationship is Miss Bingley’s obsessive and “clingy” nature towards Darcy. Miss Bingley consistently tries to get the attention of Darcy by either complimenting him or making rude and snide remarks about Elizabeth. While the first of the two isn’t bad in moderation, the latter is unacceptable and should not be done in attempt to get the attention of someone you admire. By making comments regarding the person whom they may be interested in you actually reveal more about yourself than the person you are criticizing. You’re revealing yourself to be very jealous and spiteful, which frankly no one wants in a partner. By pointing out the negativity and flaws of the other person you may cause the person you’re interested in to pull away from you even more. While complimenting someone can be a positive and successful way to show someone you’re interested in them, it should only be done in moderation. Constantly complimenting someone can eventually lead to them being annoyed and pushing away from you. For example, Miss Bingley’s constant complimenting of Mr. Darcy is not always received well and is often dismissed.

                Another issue that many singles face is knowing when enough is enough. Many people who are single and desperate for a companion push too hard and do not give the other person space to breathe. It’s important that when you are trying to begin a romantic relationship that you move at a pace which both people are comfortable with. It’s quite clear in the novel that Miss Bingley’s feelings are romantic while Darcy’s are not. If this is the case then it is better for you to back away rather than continuing to pursue this person who may not see you in a romantic light. The constant pestering and pushing may lead this person to resent you, which takes away the chance of a romantic relationship AND friendship. It is important that you can come to a middle point where you are showing that you are interested; however you aren’t being too forward or throwing yourself at someone.

We can assume that Darcy and Miss Bingley have known each other for a long time through Darcy’s friendship with her brother. While this is still a good way to meet people today, through mutual friends, there are many other options in today’s world. In Austen’s time going to balls was one of the only forms of social outings and gatherings. In today’s world we are free to go where ever we want and therefore have many more options in the dating field.  In addition to going out and meeting someone face to face, we can also meet someone via the internet and develop a relationship that way. The many options that are offered in today’s society make it a lot easier to find someone who is “right” for you and with whom you can create a strong and long lasting bond.