Miss Bingley and Darcy- Dating Advice

            As much as readers learn to look upon Miss Bingley's actions with scorn and laugh at her fruitless attempts to catch Darcy's attention, we must remember that she is not the only figure out there who has had such abominable behavior- and let us not just look in literature. There are plentiful people today who share such materialistic desires and malicious actions. There are several lessons to be drawn from this failed relationship, and from these lessons we will now draw some practical advice for today's singles.

            Let us begin with a term more common to today's society- the "friend zone." Miss Bingley would be considered to be in what would be equivalent to today's idea of what a friend zone is- being emotionally trapped as a platonic friend with someone whom you desire to have a relationship with. Miss Bingley presumably has known Darcy since she was young, and they must know each other quite well- but apparently not well enough. Although she wishes to be out of this metaphorical "friend zone," Miss Bingley continues to act in ways that had failed to catch Darcy's attention and admiration before. For example, she continues to gossip about Lizzy with Darcy, hoping to ruin his good opinion of her while knowing that her previous attempts at this sabotage not only presented no results, but irritated Darcy as well. So here is some advice for those in the friend zone out there: if you want to take your relationship to the next level, do NOT continue to act in ways or speak of things that irritate your person of interest. They cannot learn to love you while constantly holding a negative opinion of you, and the relationship will go nowhere.

            On that same note, if the person whom you fancy has an apparent interest in someone else, do NOT try to ruin his or her opinion of that person. To elaborate, do not speak of your negative opinions on them, do not gossip about them, and most importantly, do not be outright rude to that person. Engaging in any of the previous scandalous behaviors will not negatively change the person who you fancy's opinion on him or her, unless if he/ she is incredibly dense or gullible. If anything, engaging in these actions will just make you look desperate and selfish- very undesirable characteristics, as proven in Pride and Prejudice. Not only will the person of your interest have a lowered respect for you, but his or her romantic interest will, in turn, have a lowered opinion of you. Having a good reputation is key in forming a stable, loving relationship, and being known as someone who is selfish and deceiving  does not constitute being a good person. You will be the only one left alone and unhappy in the end- just look at the unfortunate finish to Darcy and Miss Bingley's relationship. Additionally, spending the time you do have together talking about others is not the best way to get to know each other more. I suppose that your romantic interest will get to know the unpleasant side of your personality more, however.

            Some final advice for all of you readers is to just back off. Do NOT be obsessive, and give your person of interest space. If they are just as interested in you as you are in them, they will return some of your kind gestures and seek you out. All of Miss Bingley's actions, ultimately, seem to be tied to her relationship with Darcy.  If she says something, it is either to catch Darcy's attention, to comment on what he is doing, or to belittle Lizzy. Being constantly interested in what your person of interest is doing may come across as being slightly stalker -esque, and will likely irritate and/or unsettle that person. The relationship will likely end much more quickly than it began.  

            With that said, there seems to be no advice to give regarding the positive aspects of this relationship. This may be because there frankly are no positive aspects to the relationship between Miss Bingley and Darcy. Perhaps if she had acted differently, Miss Bingley would hold Darcy's good opinion- if she had been less irritating and obsessive from the beginning, perhaps a relationship between them would have been a possibility. But let us not dwell on the past, and focus on the present and future. In other words, what can (and will) be improved on? With that, we leave this failed relationship, and I wish you all the best of luck avoiding a similar fate.