As
parent, there are the days of your son or daughter learning to walk and playing
with innocent toys. Now they are growing up and venturing of into the dangerous
work of dating. Being their guidance into this new magical world, there are
some do’s and don’ts that I strongly suggest parents follow. Along with the
parenting techniques of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet from the Pride and Prejudice, I (a very successful bachelor) will lead you,
the reader, towards the goals of because the most “chill” and comfortable parents
a child could ask for.
Looking for someone that you are
comfortable is always successful for any single (male or female). “Why don’t have
a boyfriend/girlfriend?” some parents will ask their young bachelor. In Mrs.
Bennet’s case, it is more like “where is your husband?” She constantly is
pushing her daughters into the arms of man, who in most cases, they were not “the
one” her daughters were looking for. The whole boyfriend/girlfriend topic is a
sensitive one for any single because deep down they want someone to love even
if they say they don’t. My advice is to lay back and let them try to find
people on their own. They probably would rather go to their friends to try to
be set-up with one of their friend’s friends (confusing), before they come to
their parents for advice. It is a pride thing. To contrast though, if your son/daughter
is completely anti-social and is really struggling with making friends in
general, then a nudge in the right direction is not a bad thing.
Along with letting your child go out on
their own, is that you, as a parent, have to resist the urge to hold them back.
I understand you do not want them to be in a dangerous place but there needs to
be some sort of trust, like the Bennets did for their daughters. They allow
their daughters to go into town to see the soldier and a potential relationship
starts from allowing that (Elizabeth and Wickham). I understand it crash and
burns but she meets somebody, and that’s a start for anybody. By going out into
the world and meeting somebody face-to-face, the parents need to trust their
child. Otherwise, they cannot meet someone if they are chained to their desk at
home.
Finally, there is the embarrassment of your
child. It may be accident but to the child, it does not matter. If you
embarrass them in anyway, it is your fault and trust me, you will pay the
price. Reframe from baby pictures of any type, home videos, past stories and,
most importantly, information that only your family should know about. (you
know what I am talking about). I understand that in Pride and Prejudice there were no pictures or videos but in terms
of verbal embarrassment, only speak about positive kind traits of your child.
Unlike Mrs. Bennet, do not brag about your child, but if asked or if appropriate,
then comment on them. Another important thing to touch upon when speaking of
embarrassment is to say only positive comments about whomever your child “likes”.
Do not discourage them with hurtful comments. They like who they like and as parents
that has to be a compromise. (unless under extreme circumstances)
I hope my advice is helpful and
instructive. I strongly advise you as parents to follow. As Taylor Swift says “We
are never never never getting back together…Like ever” so do not be the reason
for the breakup. Happy parenting!
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