Though Austen and the narrator don't exactly have what we'd call a relationship in the traditional sense of the word, they do have a dynamic that is worth examining. The narrator, as, well, the narrator, has a lot of influence over our opinion of the story and the characters, and we often assume them to be truthful. However...can we actually trust the narrator? This is the first question that must be asked when considering Austen's true stance on love and relationships. Keeping in mind the fact that Austen was never married, we need to take the narrator (who is NOT equivalent to the author) with a grain of salt. For example, his/her bold claim at the very beginning of the novel that "a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife"(volume I, chapter 1) seems not to be genuine advice; rather its place is to serve as irony. Love is not something that can be planned.
This opinion isn't obvious at first; after all, we have no reason to suspect the narrator at the outset. However, the narrator soon becomes in a way a sarcastic foil for Austen's own opinions on love and relationships. Take Mr. Collins' extremely rehearsed and tactless proposal to Elizabeth. The marriage itself would be economically advisable for Elizabeth, but Collins and the ideology of practicality he represents are ridiculed. The narrator doesn't present any opinion on Mr. Collins directly, but the underlying derisive humor is obvious. Collins quickly becomes a symbol for the ideology of arranged love. He is full of "perseverance in wilful self-deception"(volume I, chapter 19); he is a clergyman who is apparently less than godly (clergymen traditionally were not to be married), and he is completely socially inept. Elizabeth, who is portrayed as essentially the only sensible character, seems quite justified in rejecting him. This is intentional. The narrator and Austen build up our trust for Elizabeth by showing us her thoughts the most, and we share in her repugnance of Mr. Collins (and subconsciously for what he represents). The narrator seems to try to stay neutral throughout, but Austen's message is clear; arranged love is a joke.
In some cases, the Jane Austen's opinion on marriage isn't obvious. There are marriages throughout that "work" even though they don't match the type of marriage Austen seems to be trying to advocate; for example, Collins did in fact marry Charlotte Lucas, and even though there is obviously no love between them, Charlotte was "happy enough", according to the narrator. Jane and Mr. Bingley's marriage began as the construct of Mrs. Bennett, and the marriage seemed to work merely due to overwhelming good naturedness and naiveté on both sides. However, this non-clarity simply exaggerates Austen's apparent opinion that a marriage that "works" isn't enough. For example, once Collins did find a wife in Charlotte Lucas, their relationship was cold, to say the least. As for Charlotte, the narrator remarks that "When Mr. Collins could be forgotten, there was really a great air of comfort throughout, and by Charlotte's evident enjoyment of it, Elizabeth supposed he must be often forgotten"(volume II, chapter 5). The only aspect of the marriage that worked was the money. By showing the reader the difference between an "acceptable" marriage and an actually successful and happy one, Austen reinforces her point that fake love is worse than no love.
Throughout most of the novel, the narrator played a limited role; mostly, Austen chose to let the characters and their thoughts do the talking. When the narrator did take a stance, however, it was to condemn (directly or indirectly) the idea of creating love. Austen's "relationship" with the narrator served solely to inject a bit of sense into this fictitious age of false courtship and effective gold digging. The moral? It's possible to arrange a marriage. It's possible to convince yourself that you love someone. It might even give you what you want materially. But real love can't be manufactured, and attempting to do so will only lead to unhappiness.
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