Dating Tips - Lydia & Wickham

            Believe it or not, one can learn a lot about dating by reading Pride and Prejudice. Although we no longer have social events such as balls or are forced into arranged marriages, the fundamentals that can be taken from the several relationships in Austen’s novel can significantly increase your chances of maintaining a healthy relationship with your significant other. For example, the marriage between Lydia and Wickham is the epitome of how not to have a successful and healthy relationship.

            One of the most crucial aspects of a successful relationship is communication. It is essential to be able to get to know someone before you commit to having a serious relationship with them. Often times people are blinded by what they mistakenly believe is “true love” when, in fact, it is simply lust. From that moment on they only hear what they want to hear and spend most of their time engaging in intimate activities. All of this hinders communication and ultimately, after things start to settle, both parties in the relationship discover some incurable flaw about each other. However, by this time, things have become too serious.  In this case, the relationship ends in either a painful breakup or continues on a road to nowhere; slowly weakening on its way there. Therefore, it is necessary to have strong communication before you commit to a serious relationship. By communicating more effectively, you can determine if the person you are interested in shares some of the same passions as you. You can figure out what you share in common and what you utterly disagree on. From there, you can take an informative decision as to whether or not it is smart to commit to the relationship.

            I addition to communication, another important aspect for having a successful relationship is pacing. It is vital to not be too spontaneous even if it sometimes spices things up. The key is to maintain a steady pace and not rush into something that may seem exciting and obvious at a glance. You may end up doing something that you will most likely regret in the future. Both you and your partner need to be on the same page. Meaning that you need to figure out what you want from the relationship. You then need to see if your partner wants the same thing that you do. Finally, you need to let the relationship progress at a pace which you and your partner feel are comfortable. The bottom line is to not impulsive and too spontaneous.

            The marriage between Lydia and Wickham fails to meet the aspects of a successful relationship that are mentioned above. Just like many relationships today, their relationship is sprung from pure lust and empty desire. Wickham never intended to marry Lydia, but he changed his mind after Darcy bribed him by paying off his debt. This is an example of a common communication issue. Both partners did not agree on what they wanted from the relationship. The relationship was rushed, and Lydia and Wickham got married. Although initially things may have seemed alright, sooner or later Lydia would realize that she is not  happy with Wickham. She would come to understand all the mistakes she could have avoided if she had not been so impulsive spontaneous.