Dating Advice - Wickham/Lydia

Lydia Bennet and George Wickham are not the best role models out there for a healthy and successful marriage. In fact, they arguably have the worst relationship in the novel. However, Lydia and Wickham do come in handy for something. Using their relationship as a guide, I have compiled a list of things NOT to do in order to have a happy marriage. The first point on the list involves meeting a person of interest. To set the relationship off on the right note, take a laid back approach. It is important to keep cool, calm, and collected when you first meet somebody you might like to pursue. You wouldn’t want to scare the other person away or come off as a giggly lunatic. Lydia, on the other hand, shows us the opposite of this. When she first meets Wickham, she is obnoxiously flirtatious, giddy, and immature. A good rule of thumb to prevent an unsuccessful first meeting is if you think your behavior is in anyway similar to something Lydia would do or say, DON’T DO IT. Steering clear of childish behavior and staying collected will surely push you and your potential significant other in the right direction. The second point on the list involves getting to know a person of interest. Assuming your first meeting went well, you now have opened the door for the most exciting part of a new relationship. Take advantage of this opportunity to really get to know the person of interest on an emotional and personal level. Spend time together just hanging out, and ask questions that will give you a good sense of who that person really is. Some topics that should be of interest to you are: Does he/she have a job? Does he/she want a family? Does he/she share the same moral beliefs as you do? Lydia provides an excellent example of what NOT to worry too much about in a person of interest. She focused heavily on these topics: Is he good looking? Is he a soldier? Is he good looking? Does he wear a red coat? Is he good looking? …and so on. These priorities left Lydia in a relationship with someone she was enthralled with. However, had she taken the time to really get to know Wickham she would have discovered he is a lying, greedy man with no conscience. Make sure you are confident in who your significant other is as a person before taking that next step in the relationship. In order to successfully accomplish this task, you must put some time into it. As Lydia and Wickham’s failed relationship proves, you cannot get to know your significant other in the appropriate manner to enter a marriage with them in a short amount of time. Although every couple is different, a general rule is to wait one year before becoming engaged. If the relationship is going well and you still have strong feelings for each other after one year, your relationship has a good chance of thriving in marriage. However, time is not the only factor that contributes to the huge decision of entering into marriage. This leads me to my third and final point. There are many small details that must be aligned before you and your significant other take that step, including financial interests. Despite these smaller factors, there is one factor that consumes all others in this decision. Love. If you and your significant other are not in love, your marriage will be a failure. If you don’t have love, you can forget about everything else. Lydia and Wickham enter into a loveless marriage, and this marriage leads them to an unfulfilling life. Out of all the mistakes Lydia makes throughout the novel, this one is her biggest. The consequences of this mistake affect her for her entire life. Although Lydia’s choices in love are so bad they inspired a “what not to do in dating” list, she did get one thing right. Physical attraction is, albeit a small one, a factor in finding the perfect companion. Unfortunately for Wickham and Lydia, Wickham’s good looks will fade and so will their relationship. To prevent a fate similar to theirs, follow this guide and you’ll be on your way to a lifetime of bliss.