Dating Advice - Elizabeth and Darcy

Although the dating scene has changed considerably since the time of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, the advice it offers regarding relationships can still be applied today. We can learn how to meet someone and the methods of getting to know an individual, as well as how to measure the progress of a relationship.

While some of the advice may not translate well over time, it remains valuable information worth learning. The main method of meeting a spouse in the time of Pride and Prejudice was through balls, where dozens of singles would dance, hoping to find their perfect match. While Elizabeth and Darcy did first meet at a ball, it was anything but love-at-first-sight. In fact, it was the opposite as Elizabeth overheard Darcy insulting her. The all-important balls have eroded and been replaced with the internet, which has numerous dating websites. More and more singles in today’s world turn to dating websites to do the work of finding a perfect match for them. Dancing in fancy, elegant clothes has been replaced with meeting someone via computer from home. After meeting a potential partner at a ball, it was customary to introduce that partner to one’s family over dinner. Elizabeth and Darcy differed from other singles in that they never dined with each other’s families in the quest of marriage. They learned about each other through more casual meetings letters, which can be equated with the typed text on the internet of today. The written word can reveal much about an individual. Darcy used his letter to Elizabeth to clarify facts and set the record straight, but over the internet, facts can be easily manipulated and hide the truth. Although written text can reveal a lot, physical meetings with a potential spouse should play a more significant role. Spending time with someone can reveal much more than any letter or information box. Talking face-to-face is the most important method of getting to know someone, regardless of time period.

Once introduced to an individual, the pace and progress of a relationship is important to consider. In Pride and Prejudice, the length of the dating period had significant differences among different relationships. Some marriages were quick and unexpected, while others took longer than anticipated. The time between first encounter to marriage for Elizabeth and Darcy was much longer than the other relationships of the time, although a significant amount of that time was spend in mutual disdain. Similar differences in the length of time dating can be seen today, from overnight weddings in Las Vegas to relationships that take years to grow. Both time periods exert pressure on a couple to progress the relationship, but taking it slow is much more acceptable today. The speed of the progression of a relationship should be determined mutually amongst the two individuals. While there used to be a rush to marriage, it is accepted for people to take longer in order to learn more about each other. The idea of really getting to know a partner has allowed flexibility for the speed at which a relationship should progress. In the novel, the main factor in taking a relationship to the next level was wealth. This did not hold true for Elizabeth and Darcy because she held him in contempt in the beginning, despite his enormous wealth. Today, money is only one factor considered for the growth of a relationship. So many factors come into play, like an individual’s character, personality, and common interests. The decision to take a relationship to the next level should come from all the factors of today because they encompass much more than just the financial situation of an individual. The relationship between Elizabeth and Darcy offers plenty of advice for floundering singles in the 21^st century.