Dating Advice: Jane and Bingley

     One of the most successful relationships in the novel Pride and Prejudice is that between Jane and Mr. Bingley.  The positive outcome of their relationship in the novel can translate quite well into advice for modern singles of today’s time. Here are some helpful hints for single people today to meet the loves of their lives just like Jane and Bingley did.

     In Jane and Bingley’s time, the only way for a couple to be introduced was through a mutual connection, in this case through Jane’s father.  I would recommend this to modern-day singles as well.  Because Mr. Bennet had already met Bingley, he is able to convey information about him to Jane.  Jane already knows some things about Bingley before she even meets him, so the relationship had almost started before it began.  This is certainly a positive aspect of a relationship.  It is a good idea to ask a mutual friend for suggestions when looking to find someone you may want to date, because in this case you can learn a little about the other person before you two even meet.  You could also just stalk his or her Facebook or Twitter accounts, but that’s a much creepier way of going about getting to know someone, and this information may not always be accurate. A mutual friend is a source you can trust to give you reliable information to build the foundation for a relationship.

     Once you actually do have the chance to meet the person you’re wishing to enter into a relationship with, keep in mind that looks and first impressions DO matter.  While it has become a popular opinion lately to say that looks do not matter in order to want to be in a relationship with someone, this is actually untrue.  Jane and Bingley prove that the first impression matters quite a bit actually.  At the ball where the two first meet, Bingley chooses to dance with Jane twice while he only dances with all the other girls once each.  His reasoning?  She is the most beautiful girl in the room.  The main reason that he dances with her twice is her appearance.  If Bingley had not decided to dance with Jane twice, their relationship never would have gotten past that first dance, and they would never fall in love the way that they do.  While looks are not the only reason for relationship success, they are one of the main reasons for a relationship to begin – for your interaction with a person to go past the first meeting.  First impressions do matter, and I advise you, if you’re going out with the intent of meeting a significant other, make sure you make a good impression.

     Jane and Bingley’s relationship, while picture-perfect from the start, does have one downfall where hope is almost lost for a relationship at all.  This period of darkness occurs when Bingley goes away to London and stays because Mr. Darcy believes there is no way for a relationship between the two to thrive.  Jane does not successfully convey her feelings  towards Bingley, and so it isn’t clear to him (or his friends).  A lesson you can learn from Jane’s mistakes: always show your feelings towards the other person.  If you don’t show the other person how you feel, he or she can’t exactly read your mind.  There’s no reason for the object of your affection to just assume the strength of your feelings.  As this failure in Jane and Bingley’s relationship shows, no matter how strong your first connection may be, you have to actually tell the other person how you feel in order to make a simple, easy relationship become a serious one.

     Jane and Bingley’s relationship thrives in Pride and Prejudice, and it is actually quite simple for yours to do the same.  All you need to do is follow these simple tips, and I’m sure your relationship will be a success as well.  Good luck, and happy dating!